Don't Be A Betch!
by Strike To Incinerate
Summary: [Epilogue to Kingdom Karaoke.]You're gonna be pregnant. And that means I'm gonna be a grandmother, DiZ intoned. And you know what? That'll be the seed of the Devil.[Pairings inside. Crack warning. Shonenai implications.]


_A/N: Alright, alright... since Chaxra-san thought the ending wasn't final enough (and, okay, okay! I wanted to write an epilogue! Everyone really liked Kingdom Karaoke at least, the people who reviewed did) and Roxas didn't get to sing, here's an epilogue._

_RaiPhoenix - I can send you some FFTL songs through email, if you wish. Can AOL/AIM handle song attachments, or are the files too big? (Same goes to anyone else, if they don't have LimeWire or some other file sharing program. I'm all for spreading music all over the internets!)_

_Inspiration: Mah kitty. Kadaj Mephistopheles Strife-Leonheart. Thanks for attacking my feet and waking me up at 10 a.m. on a day when I don't have school._

_Warning: CRACK. Rated T for CRACK and Bible-Bashing and Kelly-ness. And some swearing._

_Pairings: XigDem, MarVex, AkuRoku, Rikora, ManSaix._

_Disclaimer: I dun own nuffin'. I'd settle for a Demyx if I did, though._

**Where Do You Think You're Going In That?  
by: Strike to Incinerate**

--

Roxas awoke to the faint sound of birds chirping. 'Strange,' he thought, 'because there are no animals in the World That Never Was.'

Glancing around the room, wondering if perhaps someone had placed one of those soothing noise maker things in his chambre, he jumped. Saix was sitting at his desk.

"Ah, what a day it's been..." the Luna Diviner mused to himself. "Let's read my pamphlet here." He picked up a pamphlet from the desk and slowly opened it.

"Saix, there's no day here. And, where the Hell did that pamphlet come from?" the Key of Destiny asked.

Number VII didn't hear him. "What Would Jesus Do? For ages fifty-five and older," he read the cover aloud.

Roxas was now thoroughly confuzzled.

Who was Jesus, and why would Saix care about his opinoin?

He was pretty sure that Saix wasn't anywhere near fifty-five, too.

"Chapter one..." Saix continued. "Love thy neighbor. Love thy neighbor as thyself... Thank you God, thank you for this..." he paused, hearing a heavy bass beat coming in through the open door. "Oh, NO," he groaned, standing to go check out the problem.

Roxas got out of bed and followed, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Excuse me," Saix began in a voice a few octaves shriller than he usually spoke, "where do you think you're going in that?" he asked.

The blond's gaze followed the bluenette's to the source(s) of this 'problem'. Axel and Demyx.

Axel was wearing outrageously baggy, black pants with chains attached to them so they jingled whenever he walked. They also had more zippers than ten pairs of pants could need, and a rubber Jolly Roger at the bottom of each pantleg. His shirt was tight, black, and had tan designs on it. The only readable words were 'The Black Parade' on the front, and on the sleeve, 'My Chemical Romance'. His wrists were adorned with spikes and studs, and fishnet stockings, cut, of course, came up past his elbows. A collar to match the wrist-cuffs was wrapped around his throat. He was wearing heavy black make-up on and AROUND his eyelids. His eyes looked luminescent.

"You're going to march right back upstairs, that's what you're going to do," the Luna Diviner instructed.

Demyx was in a pair of black pants so slim and tight that one could think his legs were asphyxiating. On his feet, there were a pair of green Converse High-tops, and his shirt... didn't look made for a guy. It was tan, but over that, he had strung up a corset, jade green with embroidery and silk and ribbons. Fingerless fishnet gloves creeped up his arms to his elbows. The two neophytes were talking to each other as if their superior had not spoken.

"MARCH IT," Saix commanded.

Roxas squinted to get a better look at Number IX. Aside from the new clothes, he seemed much different... And as Demyx turned around to show Axel something, he saw it. A tattoo was peeking out from underneath the corset on his lower back.

"Is that a tattoo?!" Roxas asked, incredulous.

Demyx nodded proudly, smiling at him. He even pushed the corset up to show it off. It was a little blue and purple butterfly.

"Tattoos are from the Devil," Saix muttered.

The Superior suddenly portal'd in to agree with him. "Tattoos are from the Devil."

"The Devil," Number VII echoed, just to reaffirm it, as if VIII and IX cared.

Roxas wanted to scream, 'WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!' but as soon as he opened his mouth, the only words that came out were, "You're gonna march right up, shi-, fri-, I'm so flustered!" His face was even a little warm, probably red.

"You're gonna march it, woman!" Vexen, who knows where he came from, said, pointing at Demyx.

And for once, he was in agreement with Xigbar. "March, march, MARCH!" Xigbar ordered.

Demyx and Axel didn't budge. They giggled.

"And change your clothes!" Xaldin shouted at them. It appeared the entire Organization was now at the base of the stairway, outside Number XIII's room, just to berate Axel and Demyx about their choice of attire.

"Is that a tattoo?" Marluxia asked, pointing to Axel's hip, which was exposed because his pants were so heavy, the waist line was a little lower than it should be.

Hip bones... Roxas suddenly had to fight off a nosebleed. 'Shit. Could this morning get any worse?' he thought.

"Tattoos are from the devil!" Larxene announced. 'Well, no shit, they've all been telling us that, too!' Roxas thought, thoroughly annoyed.

"You don't even know Chinese!" Roxas lamely protested, seeing that it was some sort of character in a different language.

"Why are you wearing that?" Zexion asked, as he leaned against a wall, book in hand. Nothing seemed to faze that emo-kid.

"You're watching too much of the H-B-O," Marluxia decided, and stomped off to go take it off their monthly cable service. "Too much HBO!" he shouted back at them from down the hall.

"Jesus Christ on a crutch," the Freeshooter sighed.

"If you go out looking like that... they're gonna think you're a street-walker," Riku, again, Roxas didn't know WHERE THAT FUCKER HAD COME FROM! But, Sora was with him. Anyways, Riku said, shaking his finger at the two bitchin' Organization members.

"A walker in the night! They're gonna want to pay you for lookin' like that!" the Keyblade master rambled, clinging to Riku.

"It's wrong and it's unclean," Luxord said. Much like what Marluxia and Vexen were doing in the Family Room of Too Much HBO But Not Any More-Ness.

"You need to change that, missy," Saix instructed, before summoning his claymore.

Axel summoned his chakrams, and Demyx hid behind him.

"Boys just want to get in your tutu. Boys just want to get in your tutu, I thought I told you that!" Xemnas shouted in vain.

"They want in your tutu," Xigbar agreed. Well... duuur. In this author's fanfictions, everyone wants in Demyx's tutu.

Saix frowned. He was going to have to smack some sense into these bitches. "Now, you march upstairs and you cover up that tutu," he said, his voice a little sterner.

Lexaeus pointed over to where Marluxia was standing, briefly. "They're gonna think you're a transvestite," he warned them.

"We're gonna be on Montell Williams', for cry-eye!" Number VII moaned.

"You'd better cover it up, missy!" Zexion threw his book against the wall, creating a flurry of pages, and shook his fist at them.

Roxas fled to Zexion's side. Maybe he was in the same position, not knowing that the hell was going on...

"You're gonna be... you're gonna be pregnant!" Saix desperately shouted at them.

'Okay, WHAT NOW?!'

"And that means I'm gonna be a grandmother," DiZ intoned. "And you know what? That'll be the seed of the Devil."

Roxas rolled his sapphire eyes. This was getting a little out of hand; he highly doubted that DiZ was related to either Axel or Demyx.

Once again, he made the mistake of opening his mouth to try and tell everyone to shut the fuck up, but what came out was, "They want in your tutu."

Xemnas simply said, "The Devil," and portal'd out.

--

Roxas awoke, panting and face aflame. Oh... so it had been a dream... what the hell was that all about?

Perhaps Demyx shouldn't play music written by tranvestites so loud so late at night. That could've been it.

Seeing the echidna-like protrusion of red hair lying next to him, Roxas peeked beneath the blankets to see what he was wearing, just to be sure.

Nope, nothing.

His face turned the color of Axel's hair, and he slowly dropped the blanket.

Well, at least it was just a dream.

When the door slammed open, the Flurry of Dancing Flames fell out of bed, and hit the floor with an audible 'thud'.

Demyx was being piggy-backed by Xigbar, and they were both either high, drunk, or just stayed up so late that they'd gotten really hyper.

"OMIGOD, SHOES!" Demyx yelled.

"LET'S GET SOME SHOES!" Xigbar agreed, just as loudly.

Roxas fell face first into his pillow, and pondered never waking up again.

--

**End.**

**Songs Used:  
Liam Sullivan: Where Do You Think You're Going In That? (Kelly's Mom)  
Liam Sullivan (Kelly): Shoes**

**Yes, all of the dialogue in this oneshot is from those two songs. Except for Roxas's thoughts, and his first line.**

**And yes, this fanfiction was also an excuse to dress Axel and Demyx up in my clothing. Yes, WOMEN'S clothing.**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Leave me some reviews!**


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